1907 Reader
Acrylic paint, acrylic gouache, pages from a 1907 second-grade reading book, paper, graphite
Even though I consider myself athletic, I did not play sports in high school. I started basketball practices but decided not to continue even after the coach called my house and encouraged me to come back.
When I reflect on this, my reason for quitting or not even starting an organized sport was mostly fear. I didn’t want spectators, especially of my own pubescent age, watching me do something that I wasn’t already good at. The thought of making a wrong move or failing in front of an audience did not seem worth the risk.
Fast forward 25 years: It started with an invite from a friend to just play tennis for fun with some ladies. Within a few weeks I got a proposal to be the other half of a doubles team and I started playing cup tennis.
Practice is so fun. It’s great exercise, it’s socially fulfilling, it gives me a break from the studio, and I’m a happier person after I play.
The competitive cup matches are a different story. I literally tremble. My stomach is in knots. Everytime I make a mistake I’m sure my partner will break up with me. I’m sweating even before the warm-up begins and good gravy, you might as well be on stage with a spotlight when it’s your turn to serve. When I walk up to our opponents, I wonder why I put myself through this extreme discomfort.
I’m so grateful to have been accepted into four juried art festivals this summer. I’m also full of self doubt and fear. Putting my work on display is so vulnerable. I’ve been practicing making art for a long time, but these shows are game time. I will be trembling and sweating and trying to remember why I thought exposing myself in this way was an exciting idea.
When I walk away from these experiences, I feel like a badass. I have stories to tell, I’ve made connections with new people, and I learn and grow deeper into the person I imagine myself being.
This April be a badass and take a positive risk!
-Gretchen Ann
